So, you’re approaching embryo transfer day. Or maybe you’ve just had your transfer.

After so much preparation and anticipation, it’s common for patients at our Bay Area clinic to find themselves navigating a variety of emotions. And then there’s the wait for your blood draw pregnancy test in 9-12 days.

We spoke with our go-to psychologist, Madeleine Katz, PsyD and psychiatrist, Dr. Anna Glezer to create this guide to navigating the emotions you might feel post embryo transfer. It covers tips on following a routine, and even some ideas for distractions if you find yourself needing them.

No matter how you feel after your embryo transfer, our aim with this guide is to provide you with support.

Let’s jump in.

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Why is IVF so emotionally draining?

In-vitro fertilization involves a long process even before you make it to the embryo transfer stage. You’ve persevered through years of trying, feeling hopeless, tests, financial counseling, and likely many conversations with your partner or community as well.

By the time you (or a carrier) are undergoing an embryo transfer, the prolonged process can cause a roller coaster of emotions. You may experience feelings of hope, sadness, anticipation, stress, excitement, apprehension, and any and everything in between.

It is important to know that regardless of how you feel, your emotions are completely valid. There’s no right or wrong way to experience them.

There are two main factors that may influence how you feel after a transfer.

• Emotional: This is due to the emotions you feel about going through the transfer process itself.
• Hormonal: The hormones that you take to facilitate the transfer process can have a profound effect on your mood.

Dr Glezer provided us with her input on how you can navigate these complex effects.

“Hormonal changes can make a person more sensitive to various emotional experiences, so layering on the complex emotions that surround a transfer (anxiety, hopefulness, and many others) on top of that sensitivity can sometimes feel overwhelming. Being able to name and then reflect on the emotional experience around the transfer can be really helpful in reducing that overwhelm”.

If this is your second or third time undergoing an embryo transfer, you may also find that your emotional experience differs from how you felt during your first round.

We’ve seen some patients at our East Bay clinic experience heightened stress about the procedure on their first round. From the second round on, some people still experience stress, but it is typically related to anticipation around the success of the procedure.

The good news is, no matter how you’re feeling after your embryo transfer, our tips for navigating your emotions remain the same.

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How to get through IVF emotionally

Now that we’ve covered the details behind why embryo transfers are so emotionally draining, let’s get into our tips for navigating the two week wait until your follow up appointment.

Our first tip? Routine, routine, routine.

Keeping up with your normal activity is a great way to keep yourself from focusing too heavily on what’s to come next. Now, there are a few things that you should avoid until your follow up appointment:

• Don’t go swimming or get into any pools, hot tubs, or baths
• Don’t insert anything into your vagina
• Don’t smoke or consume alcohol

If you experience any severe pain, fever, smelly discharge, or signs of infection, reach out to your medical provider immediately.

Otherwise, you can return to your routine as normal. Of course, this will look different for each and every person, but some activities that you can use to maintain balance include:

• Go to work as normal
• Make sure to get outdoors
• Keep seeing your friends, family, and other community
• Take a trip
• Follow your typical exercise routine

Now, with the internet at your fingertips, you may be tempted to go searching for additional information. That may even be how you found this article. Although we’re happy to have you here, we really encourage you to stay off the search engines. Your doctor is your best information resource through this process.

If there’s anything about your routine that you would like to stop because you’d rather not continue it, that’s totally fine too.

Dr Katz’s recommendation is:

“Especially in subsequent transfers, some people seek to manage their feelings by becoming more exacting or intentional in how they manage their health. This can look like reduced exercise, diet modification, attempting to lose weight, etc. We like to feel in control, and a transfer process is very blatantly outside our control. This psychological desire to do something that would maximize chances of success can sometimes feel counter to the medical recommendation to proceed with your usual activities. In short, if you feel like you might blame yourself for any lifestyle or health related choices that you make during a cycle, in the case that you don’t become pregnant, then don’t do them. Your future self need not hold this guilt”.

The goal is to land as close to peace of mind as you can get.

Lastly, we recommend waiting until your follow up appointment to take a pregnancy test. In some cases, the hormones given during the transfer process can affect the results. We want you to have the most accurate results when that time does come.

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Conclusion

Just remember, having complicated feelings after an embryo transfer is completely normal. Not having complicated feelings after an embryo transfer is also completely normal.

Follow your typical routine to keep yourself busy and try to stay balanced. That two week follow up appointment will be here before you know it.

At Collab Fertility, our dedicated team is here to guide and support you in making the most informed decisions for your family building journey, while prioritizing your physical and emotional well-being. We can also help you schedule an appointment with our collaborating psychologist to help you nail down your fertility goals.

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